that day He'd given me a collar to wear. A thick black leather one with three O rings on it. We went to Walmart to get something for His computer. Before we left the house He asked if i was ready for the leash. We'd talked about it WAY back before we really knew each other. He'd basically dared me to walk around Walmart on a leash...to make a long story short. I said yes and He hooked the leash to the collar. The leash was a thin leopard print nylon one. We got out of the car at Walmart and He had the leash in his hand. He ran into someone He knew and introduced me. We stood there for awhile and they talked. Then we walked in with them still talking. They ended up talking at the front of Walmart for i swear to god two hours, Him holding the leash the whole time. we finally parted ways and went off to find His computer thing. He hooked the leash around His cell phone on His belt.

He asked when we got home how it made me feel, was it as bad as i thought it'd be. i said it was exactly what i thought it would be, and that i hadn't thought it would be that bad. that i just turn my mind off for that kind of stuff (embarrassing stuff), like when i go into Priscilla's. He seemed disappointed. He said He was proud to have me on His leash, and thought maybe i would be too. There is some of that. i like being controlled by Him. i like walking and staying so close to Him and not feeling like i'm bugging Him or invading His personal space or being needy. but...it also makes you a little less human, and part of me turns off.

anyway, we got some groceries too and i helped carry them in when we got home. while He was putting them away i slipped on my school girl outfit. i'd told Him i had a school girl outfit, and that it was in my suitcase, every time i came to visit, but we never actually did anything with it, so i put it on, which is SO hard for me to do. to initiate sex or scening or anything. So i put it on, it's a very short pleated navy skirt, my old school uniform oxford with my school's insignia, and white knee socks. He came out and was surprized and smiled. He said i'd have to meet Him in His office after school.

We went out to the garage eventually.

( I met up with an experienced dom last night. )
So the highlights for me were

1.) all appendages being tied and me being blindfolded and stuff done to me. I love not having to worry about what to do, how to react, and that pretty much limits you. I’d love to be gagged too once I trusted someone, or if we had some signal so I could safe word.

2.) Having my clit flicked and being laughed at (kindly) while I jerked and squirmed

3.) Being told how many hits I would have and told to count them…I’d like a lot more of this, and with paddling or caning instead of hand or crop. And with me over a desk either having to stay down myself or held down by someone else.

I'm so wet after these.
for my wonton lesbian side
for my straight submissive side
for my anal side
damn, I need to shave everything for tomorrow. I'm going to A's graduation party (a family affair, but we get to hang out afterward from 3ish to midnight). She promised we'd go to some abondoned lot to mess around in her car. My vote was for a corn field, this IS indiana afterall. Oh the joys of sex when you live with your parents. Somehow I missed this the first time around. Leave it to A to make sure I experience it.

I visit a friend that lives in Texas every summer. He's married happily with kids and I'm close with the whole family. He mentioned me and his wife going to some goth club when I'm down next and getting an overnight sitter for the kids...slight weirdness since I've known them since I was 12 aside, I'm wondering what I should wear. He doesn't actually know if it's a "goth" club per se...some nights are strictly pvc wear...So, I have a gothy schoolgirl outfit (very short red plaid skirt with low cut black tank) with fishnets and chunky high heel penny loafers, or I have a black with cherries hottopic dress...put if it's PVC night I might have to buy something... or i might have to buy something if I can't find that skirt b/c the dress actually starts hurting my neck cause it's a halter top, and i'm LARGE breasted.

I would want to wear this so that my tattoo/s show (one on ankle, one on inner thigh that still might not show)


I want ( this )so bad it hurts, too bad it's almost 200 dollars :( sad day

I can probably get( this one )on ebay for 40 to 50 dollars...must resist bidding for things on ebay at four in the morning...


I feel kinda weird wearing anything too out there, just cause I don't normally, and I don't want to be a poser or something...I don't know. I'll probably just wear the school girl thing if I can find the skirt. I wore that to rocky horror once. Maybe I could just wear ( white knee high pvc stockings ) with the school girl thing. Has anyone seen white pvc school girl shirts? I know i've seen stuff like that, but I can't find any online.

I keep having to edit this entry as I find more stuff. I want ( these ) internal dildos pretty bad. But that's not even useful for the club...well, it would be fore me, but it doesn't get me closer to an outfit...and i'd pretty much die if they knew I was wearing it.

I have an hour before i have to go pick her up. I ran to a sex store i saw and picked up a T anal probe. I'm using it on my clit right now and for shallow penetration. If you get this in the next hour, give me suggestions of what to do...it's been good so far. It's right on my clit right now, making me clench. my legs are spread out on the head board, it's pressed right up on my clit vibrating. christ I wish I had someone here to fuck and spank the shit out of me.